Lessons from the Masters of kinbaku, Akira Naka Sensei and Iroha Shizuki
Disclaimer: I am going to refer to the rigger in a male form and to the model in a female form throughout this writing for the ease of formulating my thoughts, but of course the gender has nothing to do with the role and I am not trying to imply that it does.
Recently, I had the privilege to take part in a kinbaku workshop from Akira Naka Sensei and Iroha Shizuki for the first time. I can’t even express how grateful I am for being able to see and experience Naka-san and Iroha-san live, and to be immersed in the beauty that they created together during those three unforgettable days. I am sure that I won’t be able to put into words everything that I’ve learned during the workshop, but there are certain things that were really impactful for me, and I want to preserve at least those here.
Kinbaku is about climbing the mountain together
I think that this was the most important and beautiful message that I took from this workshop. Kinbaku and semenawa are really about going through the hardship together. It is not about torturing the model with your ties, but about evoking the beauty that is in her, using your ropes, and feeling with her.
It was really beautiful when Naka-san shared with us how difficult it is for him to hurt his models, how compassionate he is for them and how he is suffering together with them. Semenawa is not about sadism. The point of it is not to hurt your model. You can do it in many other ways. The point of semenawa is to experience the suffering together with your partner, in order to come out of it stronger. It is about being there for each other, both partners willing and open and vulnerable. Both attuned to the needs of the other. Both fulfilling different, but complementary roles.
Of course, when practising semenawa, the rigger inflicts pain and suffering on the model and they both must be enjoying that aspect as well. But it is about more than that. I think that the point of Naka-san was that even though it's all consensual and they both enjoy it, it doesn't make it less difficult to cause another person pain. You need to have compassion for the person that you are hurting, you need to be able to read them and get into their skin. Otherwise, you will simply abuse them.
During the performance of Iroha-san and Naka-san, you could really see that they are giving everything to each other. And how that moment makes them stronger. The moment when the suffering ended and Naka-san took Iroha-san in his arms was one of the rawest and loving gestures I’ve ever seen. I truly appreciate how open and vulnerable they were with us. They didn’t withhold anything. And I think that this is what makes them so unique.
It was really special, when the day after the performance, Naka-san was telling us how much he feels for Iroha and how practising kinbaku makes his love for her even stronger, and you could feel that he was actually insecure when talking about it. He really opened up to us, and even for him, one of the most respected masters of kinbaku, it was a difficult moment. To me, it was really touching and proved his honesty.
It’s not about the patterns, but about extracting the beauty of your model in every moment
In each exercise, Naka Sensei repeated that the point of the exercise is not to replicate the sequence that he tied, but to get inspired and then adjust it to your model. Every person and every body is different. He wanted riggers to learn to look at their models, get the pattern out of their head and really be there with the model, with her beauty, feel what this moment needs to make it special.
He did create patterns for the purpose of the workshop but in general, he doesn't think in terms of patterns. After the initial position was finished, it was really fascinating to see how he moved from there, observing Iroha-san, adding and changing lines, each time accentuating her beauty and only moving forward when he felt like what he created was the best what he could do in this moment.
I think that riggers often get carried away in their pursuit of a certain position. They focus on the tie itself and forget about the person in their ropes. They are more driven by the end-result then the process, missing the beauty of the moment and the unique opportunities that each model and each moment gives them.
Naka-san repeated endlessly not to force anything. He was asking riggers not to let their ego get in the way, but to tie to their abilities, as it will create a much better experience, both for the rigger and for the model. Also, Iroha-san mentioned how unfair it is that the riggers often make models feel guilty if they can't take certain ties that Naka-san created, while they definitely shouldn’t feel guilty. They are there for the riggers, willing to give them their body and to suffer for them. The riggers should appreciate it and make the best out of it. Especially because usually if the model can't take something, it more often than not is because of the riggers technique lacking. Therefore, they should be humble and look at themselves first, before judging and blaming the model.
There is no one definition of kinbaku
Naka-san stressed that for him kinbaku is very individual. Each person has their own approach to it and their own point of view. He ties what feels natural to him, but he doesn’t think that his way is the only true way. He might not understand or have a feeling for what other people in rope bondage are doing, but it doesn’t make it any less valuable. In the end, each scene and each encounter are unique and should be treated as such.
Another thing that he mentioned, and that was very interesting, is that there is no final destination in kinbaku. It is a never-ending process. And for each person the path is different, and the point where they will end up will be different. For him, as a professional, the road will definitely not be the same as for someone who does it as a hobby. And it is fine. Each person chooses their own path and should not try to get ahead of himself. It is better to enjoy the process.
Both the rigger and the model should be grateful to each other and respect each other
It's really amazing how humble and appreciative of the model Naka-san is. He kept repeating how the riggers should appreciate and be grateful to their models for letting them tie them up. That the models are not their slaves (even if sometimes they like to play that they are). They give themselves to the rigger out of their free will and they deserve respect and gratitude for that.
Iroha-san was also saying that the models should feel free to communicate to the riggers anything that feels wrong or puts them in a position that they don't like. They shouldn't force themselves into things that they don't enjoy, just to please the rigger. They should like what is happening to them. Otherwise, they will start to hate kinbaku after a while. As a model, your body and mind are in some way being abused and if you don't enjoy it in some way, then it might quickly turn into a trauma. Without open communication, there is no kinbaku. It's simply an abuse.
One time, when Naka-san was putting the first wraps of the TK on Iroha-san, he revealed that it's one of his favourite moments because he can be so close to the model that he can almost hug her. Then he started joking that maybe while for him it feels amazing, the model suffers, thinking that she wants that perv away from her. Then he told the riggers that they need to stay healthy and clean, otherwise, their models will really feel like that and will hate them. It was a joke but it shows how self-aware and humble he is. Even though he is one of the best riggers in the world and there are tons of girls who dream to be tied by him, he still cares about the impression that he makes and the comfort of the model.
Kinbaku can be a risky art and you should be conscious about the risks that you are taking
One day, Naka-san told us a story of the rope that he is using. How he was looking for weeks with different sellers to find the right kind of rope for kinbaku. How he finally found it with Ogawa, and how they became popular thanks to him. How some people are complaining about its smell, and that it's not suitable for tying people. How nowadays you can buy rope that is specially made for kinbaku. And how in his opinion the people who buy this kind of rope are missing the point.
Because kinbaku is not supposed to be normal. You use the ropes not what they were created for, and it's an essential part of it. You do something perverted, dirty. You transform ordinary ropes into your tool of torment for the model. In this way you build their history, you make them special because of the way you use them. You will not obtain the same feeling with ropes that are made especially for kinbaku. They are too proper, too ‘clean’.
There is no lying to ourselves, kinbaku and semenawa are perverse and they bear risks. More than that, the perversion and the risks are what makes them exciting and beautiful. They are at the core of the practice. If you tie in a way that is safe and comfortable then the spirit of kinbaku is gone. Because it should be difficult and painful. Your ropes should be abusing the model in some way. In the end, kinbaku is a D/s practice.
And sometimes you take risks for the sake of beauty. You tie less safely because it is more aesthetically pleasing. It happens and it's perfectly fine. But when it happens, both the rigger and the model should be aware of what they are doing. It should be a conscious risk-aware decision of both partners. And until you are able to assess all the risks, you should put safety first.
As a model, you surrender to the tie and the rigger
Semenawa is not a power struggle. Rather, it is an expression of the model's surrender. The moment you let the rigger tie you, you already belong to him. Once in ropes, all you can do is to accept your faith and to do it gracefully.
The ties in Naka-san style are difficult and painful. They can also be exposing and objectifying. It is not a kind of rope that you would do with everybody, the same as you wouldn't enter a D/s dynamic with everybody. If you (as a model) decide to tie in this style, you need to be willing to suffer for the other person, to give yourself to them. And for that, you need to trust that they are going to respect your gift and care for you.
In almost any form of rope bondage, the model is in the power of the rigger. She can struggle, but in the end, the rigger has all the control. But I think that the difference between overpowering rope and semenawa is a bit like the difference between doing CNC and D/s. In both cases, the bottom doesn't have any power. But while in the first case it's being taken away from her, in the other she hands it over willingly.
And this is one of the things that makes Naka-san’s style so alluring to me. It is such a beautiful and deep expression of a D/s dynamic that exists between the rigger and the model. It’s a kind of rope that you can’t do casually. It requires an absolute devotion from both sides. And an immense amount of trust.
Semenawa ties are meant to be really challenging. They are asking the model to give everything of her. Personally, I am not able to go so far if I am doing it for myself only. If I tie for the sake of beauty or to challenge myself, I can only go so far. But when I am doing it for someone else, when I'm suffering for my rigger, only then I can overcome my limits and truly surrender to the tie. The fact that I am doing it for someone else, gives me an additional strength to persevere and to enjoy my perseverance.
Lots of lessons learned during this workshop. It's so inspiring to see how one of the biggest masters of kinbaku and his model approach rope. The way they talk about it made me see many things more clearly and put others in a completely different light. Especially, because kinbaku is a part of Naka-san and Iroha-san's culture, seeing them and hearing about their approach really changed my perspective on this beautiful art.
I'm not Japanese and I will never experience being tied in a way that a Japanese person does. And that's ok. But still, I feel like one of the keys to understanding what it is that draws me so much to kinbaku is understanding the culture that it comes from. Therefore, I'm so grateful to Naka-san and Iroha-san, not only for sharing their approach to rope with us but also for being so open and vulnerable and sharing so many beautiful stories. This experience was definitely a milestone on my journey.
