On one performance that embodied the essence of kinbaku to me

Recently I've had a privilege of watching Bingo Shigonawa performing live. Coincidentally it was also my second proper rope performance that I have seen (first one being Benoit Descordes & Human Chuo right before him). I was extremely excited and I expected an amazing experience. What I did experience, exceeded my expectations by far. It was not only beautiful and intense, but it also made me realise what kinbaku is for me and what exactly draws me to it.

Intensity

When I was watching Bingo tying his model, I could see that they're in a sort of trance. His focus was all on her and her focus was all on him. To the point that she was twitching each time when he touched her. I've heard some people saying that Japanese models exaggerate sometimes and are too theatrical. From my own experience that is not the case. If I have a great connection with someone, they can put me in this intense trance-like state when everything I experience is intensified tenfold. I am a sucker for intense experiences. When I am tied, I want to be all in and I want to cross my boundaries. I want to get lost in the experience that he/she is giving me and forget about everything else that is there except for being in their ropes.

Eroticism

Bingo was tying and touching his model in a clearly erotic way. He didn't touch her vagina but he was touching other parts of her body and tying in such a way that he made her aroused. For me that was a big part of the show that made it so exciting. It was hypnotizing to watch him play with her and make her more and more excited.
I get turned on when I am tied up. A rope scene involves so many elements that I find hot that it is basically impossible for me not to get aroused. At least when done well. In its essence, Japanese bondage is an erotic activity. A special, subtle and beautiful one, but still erotic. And I love it’s sensuality. It doesn't mean that I want it to grow outside of ropes or that sex is the end goal. But I do want my scenes to involve some level of eroticism or sensuality.

Shame

I don't think Bingo exploited it in particular, but you could definitely see that his model did not feel comfortable and confident being exposed and tortured in front of all these people. She kept looking down and closing her eyes and was not engaging with the audience. And I loved that.

Apparently, for many westerners shame play is hard to grasp, but I identify with it strongly. Even though in general, I might not be a person who is ashamed of her body or her sexual needs, there is a certain mental place where I become that person. I actually love to be there and play with it. When I feel very submissive I immediately become more self-conscious and way easier to embarrass. And I love when the rigger plays with it, exposing me to the audience and taking my mind and body apart and showing all the pieces to them one by one with me having no control over it. Of course, part of me wants all those things that the rigger is doing to me, but while in the subspace I genuinely feel embarrassed about it. Maybe it's my Catholic upbringing that programmed my head to find sex and pleasure shameful. Or maybe something else. Whatever it was, I am extremely grateful for it, as it makes shibari and sex so much more intense and exciting.

Dominance and Submission

Bingo's model was clearly submissive to him and that is what made their interaction so beautiful to watch. I don't know if this dynamic existed also outside of the scene, but in the scene you could see that she belonged to him entirely.

For me there is no way of doing rope without submitting to the rigger. Or maybe there could be, but I don’t want to take that path? I want to feel like I belong to the rigger and that they can do whatever they want to me. I want to be at their disposal and to lust their touch when all they give me is a touch of the rope sliding on my body. And I want to please them by making myself beautiful and by suffering through all the complicated poses that they put me through. I want to do it for them and I want to gain their approval and be appreciated. This dynamic is for me the essence of kinbaku. Total submission and revealing of my deepest parts to the rigger.

Suffering

At some point Bingo hung the model upside down with her knees brought close to her chest by the rope and her ass exposed for blows. He took an object that looked like an intricate shoehorn and started hitting her, each time evoking a loud scream. When he finished, he turned her butt cheeks towards us and revealed bloody red and purple bruises. This was an intense moment. It made me both in awe of her and at the same time a bit disgusted with myself, enjoying it. I think that he made us all feel like perverts. She was clearly suffering and it was beautiful in a terrifying way. There is a beauty in watching a person endure a torture and persevere.

As a masochist, I enjoy pain. But it is not really the pleasure of pain that I'm after in rope. I want to be challenged and put on the verge of breaking. I want to be tortured while helpless and endure it for the rigger and for myself. I want to be put in more and more challenging positions and I want to be left in them until I reach the point where I can't take it anymore. I want to amaze my rigger and make him/her proud. I want to feel strong and invincible afterwards. I want to be broken and then repaired.

Beauty

There are so many aesthetically appealing elements in the Japanese rope bondage that I don't even know where to start. The colorful intricate kimono slowly revealing more and more of the naked body, the impossibly unnatural poses that the body is forced into by rope, the meticulous precision of the rigger applying rope on model's body and playing her emotions like an instrument, the visual beauty of the body canvas covered in white cloth, beige rope and red wax. All that was in Bingo's performance.

At some point towards the end of the performance, he hung the model by the ankle, revealed her inner thighs and poured streams of red wax over one of them, making it drop on her hand. His moves were deliberate and composed, while the model was screaming and squirming under his touch. You could see a range of emotions passing through her. It was such a beautiful view, it was like a fleeting piece of art unfolding right in front of your eyes. It made me think that in this way rope definitely is an art. Not only in visual terms, but also in terms of the emotions that it evokes in the audience. The aesthetic beauty without the emotions would be empty.

The show of Bingo was a quintessence of what draws me to the Japanese rope bondage. The intensity, eroticism, shame, dominance and submission, suffering and beauty combined together make for a mixture that is hypnotizing and irresistible. And I just can't help but want more of it.