Do you know what it means to be someone's property?

It means being used, but only when they want to use you.

Sometimes it's less often than you would wish for. Sometimes it's more. Your view on frequency does not matter. They are not there to make you happy. Physical objects don’t get frustrated from not being used. Neither do they get overwhelmed from being used too much. Sometimes, they might get a bit worn out or dusty, but with proper care, it is usually fixable. Maintenance is what gives things their history and what adds to their depth. 

When one has owned something for a while and had to fix or polish it here and there, maybe it is not their newest shiniest toy on the shelf anymore, but they know that it has been through a lot with them and they took good care of it. They know that it can serve them well. They know what they can use it for and why and they can be sure that it will not disappoint them. Even if it doesn’t excite them that much anymore, it gives them something else. A feeling of reliability and at the same time melancholy over the beauty of things that are getting worn out over time, but stay with us.

It means to wait without waiting.

Sometimes, you need to wait long before serving your owner again. Time is not linear for a property. It only matters at the moment when you are being used. All the other times you are just lying around, purposeless. 

Objects don’t wait in the sense of “I will wait for you”. There is no yearning in them, no neediness. They are just there. Always ready to be picked up by their owner again, but never following them with their eyes and wishing for it to happen sooner. They will use them when they use them, and the rest is just a standby time.

It means not needing anything from them.

It means not having any requirements that they need to fulfil with regard to you. If you own something, would you ever consider what it would like you to do with it? You might think about what is it good for, what is the right purpose for it. But never what it would want to be used for. Never what it needs. 

Things don’t need anything. Their owner might need them sometimes, other times they don’t. But their property never needs them. They don’t have to consider it in any way when making their decisions. They don’t need to feel guilty when they don’t use it for a while. It is their right to do so. 

Your objects are always there for you when you need them. They are made to serve you. But not the other way around. Becoming possessed by the things you own is a curse of our modern times. A curse that you would not wish upon your owner. As much as you want them to be able to rely on you, you should not expect the same. They have more important things to tend to. They have people to care for.  

It means doing the things that they want you to do.

Objects don’t have opinions about what is and isn’t right for them to do. They don’t have likes and dislikes. As long as your owner decides that this is what they want to use you for, you are used for it. Of course, there are purposes that you are more and less suitable for. It is never a question of a wish, though, but of a capability. And usually, things are capable of way more than it seems at first sight. 

At the same time, objects don’t have their own initiative. They do not come up with ways to be used by their owner and propose it to them. They do not wish to be used in more ways than they are being used already. They are completely passive in that regard. Responding when requested to the best of their ability, but never initiating anything on their own. 

It means not getting what you’ve asked for.

Maybe sometimes your owner does wonder what it might be that you would want from them if you could ask. If you would be a person, what would you want them to give to you? It is an interesting question to ponder upon. If that plate could wish for things, would it want me to eat pasta out of it or rice? Would it want to be used every day or only for festivities? Would it want me to wash it right after use or leave it dirty in the sink so that I can enjoy my freedom and take care of it later?

Sometimes you get curious about what the things that you own might wish for. And if you could, you might even ask them out of that curiosity. Imagine that you hear their answer. “That’s interesting”, you might think, “that this is what they would wish for if they could ask for things”. And you proceed to use them for what you’ve had in mind. Because they can’t ask for things. At least not with the expectation that they will get it.

It means realizing that any treatment other than that would put you out of your place.

As a property, you might sometimes dream of becoming a person. Just like Pinokio did. You might look at the other people interacting with your owner, asking them for things and getting them and wish for the Blue Fairy to come and turn you into a person as well, a person with your own likes and dislikes, with your own needs and demands.

But then you realize that if it happens, you will lose your place. You will not be their property anymore. You will not be free anymore from feelings and expectations. You will have to start expressing your wishes and hoping for them to be fulfilled. You will have to take the space in the life of your owner. You will have to ask for things. And you might end up in a place where they do things to you that they think you want them to do, but not that they themselves want. When they start to consider your wishes and demands and disregard theirs. When you stop giving them pleasure and joy and start being another responsibility that they need to tend to.

And you recognize that this is not the place where you want to be. That this is not what you take your pleasure from. This is not what gives you the freedom of, for once, not having wants and needs that you so much cherish. This is not what gives you the satisfaction of knowing that they are free to do with you whatever they want to do without any considerations and that they know that. And then you are happily back in your place. 

Maybe I take it all too literally, but this is what it means to me to be someone's property.

Do you still want to be his property?

Because I do.

The unvoiced truth of your touch

Disclaimer: this is a highly personal post in which I talk about how I want to be treated. By no means, it is an opinion on how a Dominant should treat a submissive. Nor is it a critique of service tops in general. It is simply an account of my feelings in certain situations.

It’s unbelievable how much I can read from the way I am being touched by someone. How many unspoken desires and motifs can spring from under the tips of their fingers. How subtle but at the same clear those unuttered truths are.

Your touch can tell me everything about your desire for me. No matter how rough or reckless your gestures seem to be, it is very easy to read between them and see how much you actually want me. How your touch often might seem objectifying, but what it really screams is “I want you. I am dying to have you.” 

There are people who can beat you up in pulp and each of their powerful strikes reads like an insecure question: “Do you like it?” And there are people who can stroke your cheek gently and what you read them saying is “You’re mine and I will do whatever the fuck I want with you. And it won't be pleasant.”

The second type is what I fall for.

So don't think that you can fool me with your violent pose. I can see how you are trying to read if your actions are pleasurable to me if this is the way I want to be treated. It is clear that you are looking for the signs of enjoyment in me, that you are drinking greedily from the cup of my contentment. 

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad in wanting to please your partner. I don’t condemn you for wanting to give me the pleasure that I expressed my desire for. Your tender violence could be exactly what I need. By fulfilling my desire to be dominated, you could be giving me precisely what I want. 

And maybe sometimes you even do... But what I am certain about, is that by treating me this way, you will never make me yours. The moment I feel that you want me, I know that you’ve lost me. You handed the power over to me, no matter how much we want to pretend otherwise.

Being desired means holding the reins. If someone wants you, they will do anything to get you. They will do all the things that they know you want them to do to you. They will violate and hurt you. They will make you crawl on your knees and they will humiliate you. They will beat you up and make you beg to stop. But if underlying all this is their desire to please you, it becomes meaningless. An empty theatre of Dominance and submission. 

If this is the case, I can feel that all the things that are done to me happen only because I want it. One word from me and it would all stop and my Dominant would be at my feet. I stop being violated and start being served, in a twisted kind of way. And the thought of being served by my Dominant makes me cringe. Being served kills the sacrifice.

I love making sacrifices for the people I admire. I love to feel that I am serving them. I love to feel like I am giving up something for their pleasure. Sacrifice is one of my biggest fetishes. And what is the point of a sacrifice if it is not needed? 

When I feel like you are mine without any effort on my side, just because of the sheer fact of my existence, then I lose my appetite entirely. And I stop wanting to give you what you desire. 

Myself.

Even more so, I begin to wish to punish you for your weakness of falling for my whims. I start to torture you using your neediness. The door closes. By trying to win me over, you lose me irreversibly. 

I know that it is kind of cruel on my side. I know that I can be ruthless in my desire to be used and violated. I demand of my partners to truly disregard my needs. I demand of them to take pleasure in my real misery. I don’t want us to act like I am their property, I want to be their property. With everything that comes with it. 

It is a great responsibility because what is and isn’t too much for me becomes their decision. They need to decide how far we can go, without endangering my physical and emotional safety to an undesired level. I require them to know something impossible to know, that only I could know. I require them to know and state my limits. 

I would like to believe that what I desire is not a complete madness. That there are limits to the sacrifices that I will make. That I will see and voice those limits when they truly are unbreachable. 

I will never know until I get there, though. 

What I do know, is that being wanted makes me cold and cruel. Your avid and passionate touch turns me into stone. Your need to please me makes me indifferent and withdrawn.

I know that it's unfair and probably unhealthy. Especially, because I do not want my partners to truly not care about me. My desire is not to be a victim of abuse. But what I do want, is for your touch to show not even the slightest sign of worship. I want you to grab and grope me as your trophy and not as a precious gift. I want you to use me for your pleasure and disregard mine. I want you to demand sacrifices of me and make no concessions for my sake.

Only then, will I yield under your touch. Only then, will I relax into submission. And only then, will I feel truly recognised and appreciated for who I am. 

An object. A possession. A toy.