He likes to have his toys the way he likes them

“Which one do you like the most, ‘down on all fours’, ‘sex doll’ or ‘ragdoll’? You can choose,” he asks me about the states that he can put me in, using triggers that he planted in my head during a hypnotic trance.

As always when he asks me these kinds of questions, my mind short-circuits, “He asked me a question. What should I answer? What answer will make him happy? I should answer, he is waiting and he will not be happy about having to wait. But what answer is the right answer?“

In reality, there is no right answer of course. He wants to know my preference. Not that it is going to influence his choice in any way. But he is curious and he wants to get to know me as good as possible. If only to be able to apply his cruelty even more precisely. The more he knows me, the better he knows where to strike to hurt me the most.

I am not able to give him an answer quick enough though. I am too anxious about him not liking my choice. Plus, to be honest, when he is around, my preferences hide in very dark corners of my psyche. All I can think of is what he wants. If I would answer, I would probably choose the state that I think he likes me in the most. I can’t think about myself when my mind is pushed so deep into submission by his dominant aura. I disappear. All that matters is his pleasure.

“You won’t answer? Too bad. I will choose for you then. ‘Down on all fours’ on.”

I position myself on all fours on the bed. My elbows are bent, forearms lying on the mattress, palms down. My ass is up and my legs are spread, open and ready. The final touch is the head tilted up and the mouth opened wide. Now, all my holes are clearly visible and easily accessible. The moment I am in the position, my body freezes and I can’t move anymore. From now on I am his sex toy for use. Only my eyes still belong to me. Tracing him until I lose him out of sight.

He touches my breasts, squeezes them, “I like your breasts. I like how they jump when you ride my cock like a horny little whore.”

This comment stings, but I can’t react. Only my mind is squirming from embarrassment. I usually like my breasts to be touched. They are very sensitive to touch. But in these circumstances, his touch feels objectifying and violating. He doesn’t treat me like a person, but more like a toy or an object. He is touching his property that he is going to use for the next hour.

He proceeds to my pussy, running his fingers over it, brushing it lightly. Again, it doesn’t feel like he is touching me. He doesn’t touch to connect, to give pleasure. He touches because he can. He strokes his trophy, admiring its beauty.

He spreads my labia and investigates my cunt, “You have a nice pussy. I haven’t noticed before. I was too busy using it, I guess,” he laughs.

I stiffen even more if it’s possible. I don’t like it when people look at my pussy. Especially when they investigate it so thoroughly. I become extremely ashamed of the fact that I have one. I become very self-conscious and all I want is to just disappear so that he stops looking at me. He finally stops and moves over to my mouth.

He is already hard from the blowjob that I gave him before he turned me into his powerless object of pleasure. According to him, I am an extremely gifted blowjob giver. Very eager and devoted. I guess that it is true. I love giving him pleasure in any form, and sucking his dick is very pure in the sense that it is truly all about him (although he has his ways to increase my pleasure of it if he feels like it) and it gives me a great opportunity to show him how much I want to please him.

He thrusts his penis into my wide-open mouth and starts to fuck it. I start to gag almost immediately as he hits the back of my throat, but I can’t do anything so I just start to drool extensively and gasp for the air.

“I want to cum inside you today, not in your mouth,” he says when fucking my throat and laughing.

He loves seeing me so helpless and abused. And I love the thought of him cumming in me. I don’t know why, but I find it extremely pleasurable when a man climaxes inside of me. It gives me a feeling of closeness, of intimacy. I am one of those lucky girls, who cum pretty easily from PIV sex and it usually happens a couple of times during one fuck. It makes me extremely happy when he also cums from fucking me. It somehow makes my pussy feel content and accomplished. So, I am thrilled when I hear that He wants to cum inside me. If only I could have guessed the circumstances of how it is going to happen, I wouldn't be so joyful.

Being done with my mouth, he decides that he wants me in a different position, “’Sex doll’ on.”

At first, I do not react as I was on all fours and the ‘sex doll’ position is on my back and somehow my brain can't make the connection of how I get from one to the other.

He looks at me and says, “Turn on your back and turn the ‘sex doll’ mode on.”

Finally, I understand. I follow his orders obediently. I turn on my back, raise my legs, bent to 90 degrees, I bend my elbows and lay my arms next to my head, palms up. I open my mouth wide again. That is the correct position, so my body stiffens again. As soon as he enters me, I start to moan like a cheap porn star. Exactly how we instructed me to do when he set up the ‘sex doll’ mode. It feels wrong. It is pleasurable, but the way I am communicating it doesn’t feel like me. It is mechanical and fake. Exactly how he wanted it to be.

He starts fucking me harder and my moans grow louder. It feels good. I start to slip into the mindless state of a sex doll where all I can feel is his penis filling me up and how pleasurable it is to be fucked by him. But somewhere at the back of my head, it doesn't feel right, it doesn’t feel like me. He is using my body and I am reacting to it, but we aren’t having sex.

“‘Sex doll’ off,” sounds in my ears suddenly.

The moment it happens, I embrace him and moan for real. I am finally myself having him inside me. It feels amazing. I am so happy. I start to move my body in his rhythm. I didn’t expect him to get me out of the ‘sex doll’ mode, but I am so glad that he showed me mercy.

“Do you know what you are missing now?” he asks.

I don’t have to think long about the answer. He means a ball gag. I don’t think that we've had sex even once without me being gagged, at least for some time. As soon as his dick enters my cunt, I am either gagged, or my mouth is spread open on his order, so he can spit in it, or my face is swollen from being slapped by him. Not sure which one has my preference, except for the huge ball gag. That one is definitely my least preferred option. I don’t think that it matters though.

“A gag?” I ask.

“Yes, you are learning. Good girl. Big or small?”

I hate his questions. He makes it seem like I have a choice when in reality I don’t. I know that it doesn’t matter what I say, he will do whatever he feels like, but I still can’t help but try to come up with a strategy to avoid the outcome that I want the least. 

“Should I ask for the small one or pretend that I want the big one?” I wonder.

It is ridiculous because obviously, I want the small one and the question is rhetoric. But I still can’t help lying to myself that I might have some influence on his decisions.

Fortunately, he left the huge gag somewhere else and I got the smallest one. I am very grateful for that.

“You see, I am being nice to you. I gave you a small gag. Aren’t you grateful?”

“Thank you,” I splatter through the gag in my mouth.

He trained me well to get over the shame of talking with a gag and other things in my mouth. I don’t hesitate before doing it anymore. I know that it is no excuse for him.

He proceeds to put a blindfold on me. He likes to take things away from me. Speech, sight. These are privileges that I don’t need when serving him as his fuck toy.

“Hands and legs off.”

My arms and legs fall lifelessly on the bed. It makes me anxious and frightened.

“It’s not like you need them,” he says. “Now you are what you ought to be. Just a body for me to fuck. Helpless, unable to move. You can still feel and you are aware, so don’t complain.”

That’s true. I am grateful for having a conscious mind. I am grateful for being able to feel him inside me, to react at least slightly to the pleasure that he is giving me, to be able to stay aware and connected to him, when he is fucking me. I can’t move my arms and legs, but how could I have expected for him to have sex with me with my arms free? That simply doesn’t happen.

He penetrates me deeply, I feel thrusts of his penis in and out of my cunt. It feels so good to be filled by him. My pussy is pulsating with pleasure. I am thinking that he is going to cum inside me. I can feel him getting harder and bigger, his moves become more powerful. And then he says it. The words that I was so afraid to hear, but I was hopeful that he won’t do it. I hoped that, because it is our last time for a while, he will want to fuck me.

“‘Ragdoll’ on.”

My trunk and head relax and my mind goes blank. I stop moaning through the gag. I stop being myself. I become a mindless and powerless body. Trapped under him. My real self far away. He smirks and continues to fuck me. I struggle hard to remain conscious but I can’t help slipping away into blankness. I become more and more relaxed as I feel his thrusts in and out of me. In and out. In and out. His breath is getting deeper and his moves more forceful. Finally, he pushes himself really deep into me and cums. I can hear his self-satisfied sigh. He takes his penis out of me.

“‘Ragdoll’ off,” he says and proceeds to take off the blindfold and the gag.

I sigh and start to sob. He hugs me and kisses on the forehead. Now is the time when he will be intimate with me. I served him well.

He appreciates and values it and makes me feel that, “You’ve done well. You’ve been a good girl. I am happy with you.”

That makes me both extremely happy and very confused.

I can’t believe what has just happened. I’ve never felt so used. Especially not by someone with whom I want to be intimate with. We've just had sex and he’s just come inside me and I missed all of it. I wasn’t there. He took it away from me. Part of me hated him for it.

At the same time, he just let me experience objectification in its purest form. He made me feel something so strong that I couldn’t even imagine that it is possible. And he found it hot and sexy. He was glad he could use me this way. He enjoyed me in this mindless from. And I was so glad to be able to give him that.

Because I enjoy it too. I enjoy how he trained me to take any kind of hardship from him and not even expect anything else. I enjoy having him use my body the way he likes and minimizing my participation in it. I enjoy having all the power taken away from me. I enjoy being his toy.

And he likes to have his toys the way he likes them, mindless, powerless and entirely at his mercy.

And I can’t imagine a more suitable state for me to be in.