26-02-2021

Krótka historia naszej znajomości

Umówiliśmy.

Obejrzeliśmy.

Poszliśmy.

Przystaneliśmy.

Ponowiliśmy.

Pomówiliśmy.

Pożegnaliśmy.

Spotkaliśmy.

Spacerowaliśmy.

Usiedliśmy,

Napiliśmy,

Zmarźliśmy.

Spojrzałeś,

Pojechałeś,

Wszedłeś,

Wyszedłeś,

Przyszedłeś,

Poszedłeś.

Przyszedłeś,

Poszedłeś.

Przyszedłeś.

Zostałeś.

Byłeś.

Wyszedłeś.

Nie ma Cię,

Nie ma,

Nie ma

 13-01-2021

The Other Half

There must have been a mistake

When I was being formed

How else do you explain the fact

That I was born without skin? 

My flesh bare

My insides exposed

Every feeling

Every thought of mine 

On display

Like on a butcher’s counter

Under the touch

You can trace

The electric pathways

Of pain and pleasure (I can’t tell the difference)

Running through my body

Like cars on a highway

I have always thought myself to be

An abomination

A mutant

I have always thought -

I don’t belong in this world

How happy it made me

To have found you -

A man without insides

Consisting only of skin

Skin covering your body

Outside and in

And underneath it -

Even more skin.

I can never tell 

What you think or feel.

- You fit me like a glove.

 07-01-2021

Pain and scars

You don’t know how to hurt me yet.

But don’t worry, my dear.

I will show you how.

I will take you by the hand,

Give you a tour around the grounds.

Here - the valley of my desperation.

There - the mountains of my pain.

The valley is nicely cool 

During your disappearances.

The mountains offer an unforgettable view 

When you are near.

And do you see that meandering ribbon over there?

That is the river of my sorrow.

It tends to overflow at the beginning of spring,

Full after a winter of regrets.

You could have a swim if you want.

The water is cold and sobering,

Like a person who has lost all hope.

And now - give me your hand.

Touch here. Do you feel?

I am tracing for you my old scars.

Showing you where to dig under my skin.

Take this knife.

And cut wherever you like.

Leave your own marks on me.

Something to come back to 

Once you are gone.

***

So, do you like it?

Now you know what I’m made of.

Pain and scars.

This should be enough to get around,

And have some fun.

***

And what’s behind that door, you ask?

That door? I don't know.

No one has ever bothered to open it.

 02-01-2021

Dreaming

Tonight, you came to me in my dream again.

You held me in your arms for so, so long.

So long that it almost didn’t feel real. 

(And it wasn’t.)

And then - you kissed me

With your sweet soft lips.

Your lips always feel so fragile and innocent,

As if each time they kiss

They were kissing for the first time.

You kissed me once.

And then again.

And then - once more.

Your tenderness felt overwhelming

But at the same time - natural.

As if you have always treated me this way.

I like it how in dreams

I can become that someone to you

That I will never be.

And that you become that someone to me

Only in my dreams.

 02-01-2021

The song of me

I open my veins and squeeze the blood out into a cup for you.

(The hardest part is afterwards - stopping the bleeding).

You said you were thirsty.

I cut my tongue, my heart and my stomach out and cook a stew for you.

(It smells delicious - such a shame that now I cannot taste.)

You said you were hungry.

I peel the skin off my arms and chest and make a blanket for you.

(The worst pain comes later - when you hug me.)

You said you were cold.

I am your mother when you need care.

I am your priestess when you need god.

I am your whore when you need to forget.

I lick your body clean when you’re dirty.

I cover it with kisses when you’re sad.

I sing songs for you when you are bored,

And I disappear whenever you wish for that.

I don’t give because you deserve it.

I give because I know nothing else.