09-01-2019
I like darkness
I don’t believe in tenderness,
Light and warmth never felt real to me.
So short-lived and fragile,
The only aftertaste they leave behind
Is disappointment.
And love,
Every scrap of it
You need to fight for.
Never sure if
It will still be there
Once you blink.
Darkness,
On the other hand,
Once it gets a hold of you,
It stays.
No need to wonder whether that hatred was real.
No need to second guess malice.
Their strikes are honest and undeniable.
Their marks all over your body.
It’s funny how easy it is to forget the good
And how the bad never really leaves you.
I like the things that stay.
They make me calm.
18-06-2018
Stockholm syndrome
My mind is holding me captive for him.
There are no bars stronger than unfulfilled needs.
I will do anything
Just to get a taste of what is waiting for me at the fountain,
The fountain that is his whim.
He let's me dip the tip of my tongue in it,
Just enough to keep me hungry,
Just enough to put me on the edge.
Not enough to make me understand
But enough to make me more confused.
All I know is that I need him to save me from himself.
I need him to tell me he loves me after I’ve heard that I’m disgusting.
I need him to stroke my cheek stinging from a slap.
I need him to give me pleasure after I’ve been deprived of it.
Only he can give me back what he had taken away.
I am drinking the words from his mouth.
It is unbelievable how one sweet drop can taste
In a sea of bitterness.
I am feeling his every glare.
How tender can one stroke of a feather be
When all you’ve been touched with are canes and knives.
There is no need for him to lock me up.
He knows that I will not leave.
My mind holds me captive for him
With my insatiate desire tinkling at my ankle.